Thursday, January 26, 2012

a year ago

while i was trying to remove the clutter from my study table, i found a copy of a letter i gave you last january 23rd 2011. these were the words that i offered you.

and i have no doubt i will offer them to you year after year.


mahal,

my thoughts stray to you this very moment. and there is nothing that embraces my heart in this wild and pensive afternoon save your fire ~ everything that i can recall of you. the fire in your spirit, the gentleness of your gaze, the compassion in your touch, the bravery of your words. i am missing you terribly, my love. i couldn't bear having to sleep in my bed alone. i have a confession to make. i don't believe i still know what it is like to spend my days alone.

i have grown familiar with your laughter and sigh, your stories which you utter just before we head to slumber. and now i am seeking the sound of your voice. and let me tell you this, my love. there is nothing quite like it. there is no one quite like you. there couldn't be. and how fortunate am i for having stumbled upon you, or, for waiting long enough so you may find me. you have sustained me the past few months, and i know i will be counting my blessings every day, for the rest of my life.

so thank you. none of which i have ever mentioned, done or written would suffice to show you and let you know just how much you mean to me, how much of my life you have changed for the better. even when i am tired after a long day of work, i wouldn't want to do anything right now but think of you. you crowd my thoughts and keep my heart beating. and even when the daily insanity of my life suffocates me and pushes me to the edge, looking at you and hearing you is enough to lift my spirit.

i do not know how you do it, but i now believe that some things, or in this case, some beings are made of only two things ~ love and magic. that is you. there hasn't been anything you have created or uttered that weren't made of those. your love resembles the peace after a storm, the flowers that blossom after a hard and unforgiving winter, the dawn that follows dusk. thank you for making me realize that there is much more goodness in life than what i thought it held for me.

you were that gift, that wonder, that surprise that was waiting for me in the end. and who would have thought that the end would give me a new beginning? thanking you would be one of those that i could do, but more than these words i engrave on paper, i want you to know, understand and believe that i will love you, in the face of harshness, impatience or lack of understanding. i would never let the world win. for you have become greater than this world.

you have become its reason and its origin. you have become the axis that permits it to go around. just when you felt that you were as unnoticeable as a grain of sand, you have become the universe to another person. i will not stop. i will remain. i love you as ever.

teresa.

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