searching for reasons

and while i was going through this book i was reading, my lifetime asked me:

why do you love me?

i know there's a reason, i know that i have an answer.

but for a brief moment, i was dumbstruck. i was tongue-tied. i didn't know where to begin.

i simply motioned to her, kissed the screen (as we were on skype), and told her: i do not know why, i just know that i do.

i mean i thought i knew everything, but a specific answer escaped me - for a question as deep as the one that she has asked.

again, i do not know why. i only know that i do love you. and it is something that i hope i am able to show you truthfully, audaciously, selflessly. i do not know if i could ever gather all the reasons why i would like to wake up to you and with you, why your voice was the one thing i would like to hear before i head to slumber, why your touch would calm me instantly - i only know that you are the reason.

i love you because it is you - just like what i said - i love you for the truly extraordinary person you are - the way you love your family, the way you love my family, the fact that you never give up on me even when you have to repeat yourself. i love you for all these beautiful things, and even those little idiosyncrasies of yours that drive me nuts. i just know that living has been quite an adventure, especially the last couple of years. i just know that i do not want to imagine a world without you.

i am unsure how to simplify an answer to such a grand question - but i guess as long as we stick together i can show you everyday why i love you, and why i deserve you. and this just goes to show that it is because of you this journey has meant so much and will always mean so much - not just you and i being apart but our relationship - it is a journey, it is evolving, it is made of discoveries - minute or otherwise.

don't worry, even when i fumble when you asked me that question - you can go ahead and ask me that everyday, and i am sure that it will evoke but one feeling in my soul: you are the reason i am certain, and you are the certainty in my reason.